I’m standing here looking at this place,
tears of hurt and anger running down my face.
Memories of days gone past fresh in my mind,
Remembering how I couldn’t wait to leave this all behind.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life,
but the hurt is real, that pain sharper than a knife.
I must move on, get on with what will be,
Yet when I move, the memories assail me.
You promised me you would always be near, you wouldn’t leave me alone.
But you left me anyway when all was said and done.
I’m sorry for not staying closer to you, I was scared.
Something like this I couldn’t believe, I Wasn’t prepared.
You should have seen what I saw, you just layed there so still.
You eyes were there, but the life I knew, wasn’t there to fill.
I want to scream, I want to cry, but I can’t, I promised I’d be strong.
Your last words to me ring in my head, “Be Strong Dear Girl, Carry On”
You were my soul, without you I am nothing, nobody else cared.
When I was angry, hurt, happy, You left none of my feelings Unshared.
When I would cry myself to sleep at night, you held me close to you.
You’d rub my cheeks wet with tears and help me find a solution on what to
do.
The day I graduated I surprised myself, but not you, you just gave me a
smile.
Hugged me close and told me, “Some people just take a little while”
Your belief in me was so strong, I thought it would last forever.
Now look at me, the little girl that I was now isn’t so clever.
The day you told me, I laughed, I thought you were kidding.
You just sat there and waited, no smile, no joking.
I saw the hurt and stopped laughing mid-air,
You held out your arms, and all I did was stare.
“You what?” I asked, As you stared at the tile.
“I’m dying Babygirl, I could go today, or stick around a while”
You looked up at me and told me “it’s ok, Lots of women get it”
I stood up and left, I had to escape, this had to be a trick.
I spent that night crying alone, you spent the night wondering where I was.
The next day I came home, we pretended the conversation had never Taken
place.
All was well for over a year, you and your doctor became great friends.
You never stopped smiling, You kept me up on those style trends.
Man, how you loved making me look good, you kept me alive.
I never thought it was the opposite, it was me keeping you alive.
The day came when I got home from school and you just sat there.
I rushed you to the ER and they gave you artificial air.
Your doctor showed up, went and saw you, then came to me.
“I’m sorry, she most likely won’t last through the night, go get some
coffee”
I went in and held your hand, you smiled at me and I cried for so long.
You squeezed my fingers, told me “Be Strong Dear girl, You must carry on”
I spent the night outside your room, I couldn’t see you, It hurt too much.
I woke up to a nurse calling my name, You had passed, and I had missed it.
I went in to see you one last time, the nurse said I could.
I crawled into the bed beside you and cried, you knew I would.
They took you away and the doctor told me to get some sleep,
I went home, sat in your chair, and slept, I slept deep.
I smelled you in everything, the house, the chair, the bathroom.
Everywhere I went, it all smelled like you.
I couldn’t stay, please understand, I had to leave.
The pain inside was so hard, You wouldn’t believe.
So I put our house on the market to be sold.
A couple bought it, they’re ready to move in any day now
I packed a lot, gave most of it away,
I’m leaving now, It’s time to move on
So I’m standing here looking at this place,
Tears of hurt and anger running down my face.
Memories of days gone past fresh in my mind,
Remembering how I couldn’t wait to leave this all behind.
The hurt is real, that pain sharper than a knife.
But Mom, today is the first day of the rest of my life.
 
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