I always find myself sitting in the dark on my bed, As I put the pillow to
my head
All I do is cry, and when people ask what’s wrong I always have to lie. They
think I have the ideal life, but all I do is think about my knife. I always
see them laugh and play, it hurts so bad, I want to run away. They have a
family that cares and always hangs, around I feel like a dog in a pound.
They talk to my sister and do things without me, Im going thru pain and they
just don’t see. I feel left out everyday and in everyway, I have friends who
say they care and that nothing could come between us, But then some ONE
always does and I sit and stare, wishing I could be there. And there’s this
guy that I really like who hardly even knows I’m here I wish I was strong
enough to talk to him so he could be more than my peer, so I would never cry
another tear. I know that if he was mine the love we would have could be so
divine. Me and my friend are so much alike, or so i thought She has a life
that is so different than mine and the love her family shares doesn’t have
to be bought. I hate my life, I hate it a lot. I want a way to fix my pain
so I wont have to go thru one of my veins. I cry for help but nobody hears
me, nobody even sees me. I feel as if I’ve been in prisoned for 14 years, a
prisoner in my own body. I want to get out and start all over and fix my
life the way I want it. I hate the way I live and there’s nothing I can do
because I don’t have the courage to say something to my family about the way
I feel and the way I have always felt. I’ve tried and tried but nothing’s
worked, so it doesn’t really count, I try and try but then I cry and nobody
can help with the amount of stuff I have inside ,cuz all my pain just wants
to hide. People think they understand but they wont until they put their
feet in my shoes. And they mite think that I’ve got it made, but that’s only
because its only been a day. They’ve lived only one day in my horrible shoes
so they cant judge my life yet. They don’t know the real way of my life. The
rest of my family is always so happy and they don’t even notice me because I
hide so I wont be in the way. But I get tired of hiding out everyday. I want
a normal life so I don’t have to think about my hidden knife I want to be in
the light of day and off my bed or out to play. But my mom keeps me in like
a trap that caught a mouse. One of these days I’m going to get out and see
the world the way I want to, and I’m finally getting off of the pillow and
finally stop my tears and when I do I will be happy, wild and free, Just
like I always wanted to be!

 
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