beautiful

they said that i was beautiful
just the way i am
but i guess i dont see what they see

when i look in the mirror
i feel like i want to cry
i hate the way that i look

when i try to eat my food
i cant keep anything down
all i can think about is gaining weight
and looking worse

when i feel my body
i just want to rip it apart
i cant stand the way it is

when i hear people brag
about how perfect they think they look
i want to crumble up and die
im sick of everyone else being perfect

i dont know why i feel like this
i just do
and i have to do something about it

...................

i go into the bathroom
get on the scale
it says i dont weigh much
but i think its a mistake

everyone loves the ''skinny'' people
so thats what im gonna do
im gonna be so small
that everyone is goin to love me

i know that most people dont do this
and i know its a problem
but who cares?
it wont hurt me

i go over to the toilet
i slowly reach my fingers down my throat
and i gag myself until its over

its really not that bad
i dont see what the big deal is
they probably just dont like doing it

.................

whats happening?
for some reason my parents
are taking me to the hospital
im not hurt...

the doctor said that i am very sick
and i have to stay for a while
but i dont feel sick

i dont understand
i did this to make me better
and now im in a hospital
''better'' people dont go there

.................

when i get back to school people talk about me
they didnt like me any better
it just made things worse

i finaly realize that you dont
do things to change your body...

your beautiful the way you are
and people can either believe it or not
but if they deny it
theyre lying because its true



 
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