i can’t stop reliving the night over and over inside of my head
every second of our embraces
every sweet tasting kiss
every single moment together
i have replayed over in my mind at least fifty times since that night
my heart cant take much more of it though
i can feel it being crushed with every passing day that he doent call
doesn’t utter a single word to me
doesn’t even look my way
as if I don’t exist
was the entire night just a figment of my imagination
or did we in fact make love and it meant something?
i don’t know
all I want to do is crawl under the covers and cry myself to sleep
i feel dirty
i feel used
i feel like I should just end it all now
for fear of it being true and he doesn’t really feel for me as I do for him
most of all though
i feel the earg to be with him again
even if only for the brief moment of intamacy when we become one again in
totally love
why do I do this to myself?
over and over again it seems?
i let a guy in and let him use me
why cant I just say no?
 
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